"Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches." ~Andy Warhol

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Back in school, and now a blog...

Well, as the title suggests, I'm now attending school at UC Irvine. My first week has just ended, and it was quite full of interesting classes and thought provoking questions and ideas. I just finished my first real writing assignment for Writing 39B: Critical Reading and Rhetoric, which was to write a journal response to the following prompt:

Prompt: Describe the role obedience plays in your life. Think about the various methods authority figures use to get you to do what they want you to do. What motivates these authority figures? What motivates you to obey? Why is that guy dripping water on my forehead one drop at a time?

In your life, what constitutes authority? That is, what makes it seem like someone has authority over you? Is it that necktie choking Mr. Herrmann? Is it Mom and her discretion over your checking account? Think of Milgram’s experiment. Did the experimenter have any power to punish his subjects? Why did they obey him?

I’m asking the same basic question six different ways here. How is your experience with authority similar to and different from Milgram’s subjects’ experiences with the experimenter? Don’t neglect the differences. Be very specific. Details! Without ‘em, we’re all just Human XX or XY.
...................................
I've decided my response was interesting enough to share with you here. And yes, I know I don't think I ever adressed this "Did the experimenter have any power to punish his subjects?"point addequately, but I'll see what you think...
Also, I ran out of time before I could go on to discuss motives after my last thoughts, but the publish date for the journal/blog was supposed to be midnight, so oh well...

Obedience and Milgram

It seems to me that obedience plays a key but largely unconscious role in my life. I think that by now I am fairly well conditioned to respond to authority though less incentive may be given. For example, it seems to me that when we were younger incentives for obedience were a fairly even mix of rewards and punishments. For being good, or performing well I might get candy, or a reward might be used to prevent a normal part of life from being associated with punishment. Here I am referring to the dreaded shots, those doctor visits that loomed large in the imagination of all young children. My mom would always reward my quiet cooperation and bravery (which translates roughly to obedience) with a stop at the nearby Target and a small box of Legos. Though I would probably have been cooperative and obedient regardless, such a system insured that any rebellious thoughts (and they did exist, I sometimes daydreamed of fleeing the pediatricians office in the style of Harrison Ford in the Fugitive) would never be acted upon.

However, though rewards do exist in adult and near adult life, obedience seems to be instilled through a mix of hefty punishments and reliance on early childhood conditioning. In this world the safety nets and training wheels have been removed, and that simple fact alone often insures careful obedience. I rush to get to work at Subway on time on the days I am scheduled to work, perhaps because I fear being fired, but the actual motive is a bit more complex. I know that with my employer, there is very little chance to none of me actually being fired. So why am I hurrying? Well, it seems that there are several reasons. First of all, it’s never fun to lose the respect of those you work with or live with. I obey my time schedule in order to be accepted by my co-workers and employers as a good employee. Also, I am careful to obey all my employers’ rules because I wish to be seen as a good worker so that in the future I can get a better job with no faults on my record.

So perhaps much of my inspiration for obedience is indeed mostly from my own mind, like the subjects in Milgram’s experiment. Not all of my coworkers hold direct influence over me – I often comply with the requests of non-mangers, but I still hold their demands to the same standard because I wish for respect. This is one reason I see both physical authority and respect to be equal motivation for obedience. I see it as working both ways- if I wish to be respected by someone in authority, I will obey them, and if I respect someone regardless of their actual authority I will obey them and place them in a mental position of authority.

Finally, wisely wielded authority inspires respect, and with both physical authority and respect combined in one figure the strongest bond of obedience can be formed. This may be seen in figures such as parents and teachers. I both respect my mom and dad for where they have been and what they have done but I am also aware of the authority they hold over me and control based off of monetary funding, ect. Though I may sometimes be reluctant to obey, the push to obey is very strong, and I rarely go against it.



It seems that my experiences correspond fairly well with Milgram’s results, but only to a limited extent. While it is true that those in authority, or those who seem to have authority in my mind (I described the criteria above) have a great deal of control over me, and I will often obey, the control is not complete. I believe that at a certain point, which I think and hope to be sooner than most of the people involved in Milgram’s experiment my moral sense will override and I will refuse to obey. Unfortunately, I cannot think of a good example where this has happened, the authorities that I interact with daily don’t tend to put me in compromising situations.

I can, however, think of one situation where I wrongly obeyed apparent authority despite reservations. It was a long time ago, in a state park far, far away. I was very young, very naïve, and had never been the target of a practical joke before, let alone a bad one. My family was camping out together with one of my dad’s friends, whom I knew only as Fireman Frank.

I remember it clearly, my dad spent a great deal of time trying to get the built in barbecue’s fire going, piling on briquettes and nursing a tiny fire for about 15 minutes before it really got going nicely. He then left to prepare the chicken for cooking, and somewhere around this time Frank pulled me aside. I had this little bucket, you see, and he told me to go over to the tap and fill it up with water and come back. He somberly instructed me to sit and watch the fire carefully to make sure it couldn’t get out of control, and if it got too large to put it out. Well, in those days, I held firefighters in the highest regard, as the noblest and bravest of all professions, for out of control fires are scary. Therefore, I awarded Frank the fireman’s words with all the authority and respect of those of a good fireman.

Of course, it wasn’t long before the flames got big and scary, shooting up from the confines of the barbeque. I decided that it was dangerous and out of control and emptied my little bucket into it, and not long after my dad discovered what had happened. I soon felt as quenched as the flames I had extinguished, and worse I had no idea that sometimes an authority can tell you the wrong thing, so I felt spitefully and wrongfully accused for simply doing my duty. I had weighed my need to eat with disobedience and the possibility of vague fire-related danger and put my discomfort and needs aside for the sake of obedience. Though this simple example is far removed from the scale of manipulation in Milgram’s experiment, or the far more real atrocities committed throughout history in the name of duty and obedience, my experience still followed the same principle.
I also agree with his idea that obedience has less strong of a pull with distance and the immediate removal of authority. The most apparent example of this would be driving, where people will often exceed the speed limit unless a police officer is present in the nearby vicinity, in which case they tend to slow down to clearly legal speeds. I tend to drive close to the speed limit but even I’ll still cap off my speed at usually 2-5 miles per hour above the posted limit. However, this also partly disagrees with Milgram’s results because though authority is plainly known, and the laws and punishments are very real, people often break road laws, repeatedly and frequently, defying authority daily.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Aim poetics 101

Written during a instant message convo:
MEMORY LANE says:
you know me not much relates
Of Dubious Legality says:
mmm, strands always connect
MEMORY LANE says:
sure sure
Of Dubious Legality says:
pulling threads of memory
MEMORY LANE says:
!!!
Of Dubious Legality says:
one to another
MEMORY LANE says:
Of Dubious Legality says:
silver yarn unravels
Of Dubious Legality says:
a new thought
Of Dubious Legality says:
is born

Anyway, I haven't been on here for a looong time for some reason...I'm not sure why. In fact, that little bit was the first thing I've written for some time to. It would be kind of sad, if it weren't for the other bit I've been doing in the meantime, drawing!

I've created an account on Devainart so now I have my own little site for my artwork.
http://swimagainstgravity.deviantart.com/
There's not much on there, and most of it is hidden under "scraps", but soon I'll have a finished piece to display in my gallery. (Edit: Aha! I have finished a drawing!)

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Ink

I drew again today, but this time I tried something new: ink. At first I treated it very similarly to a pencil, because I could when outlining, but when it came time to shade the face and actually make the hair look like hair I found my usual pencil scritchings just didn't work at all. I tried some different things out in different places, and thats why the hair looks thick and lush in some places and random scritchy in others. I'm going to go back and fill in those places later when it's a time other than 3:45 in the AM. I'm pretty happy with what I learned and accomplished on it at this late though. I've been itching to draw all day but I wasn't quite sure what until rather late at night. Well, without further ado:
woman inked

To my reader of one: I'm looking forward to Saturday with great anticipation.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

"The Golden Years"

We live in the good ol’ days of tomorrow
The nightmares of today tomorrow’s lullabies

Oh how they will moan for the past
Cry out for olden days long dead

The shared lie of humanity
Twisted through time

If only it were yesteryear
Life would be wonderful.
If only it were The Future
We could forget fear

It’s time to wake up
And embrace today.

Friday, September 01, 2006

New Photos+ I accidentally blog about webcomics

WEll, I've finally got around to discovering that you can set a permanent url in flickr, so I don't have to fret about how to tell peeps how they can see my pictures. Not that I worried about that all that much or anything, but just the same. I decided to keep things simple and go with the same url base name as I did with this blogger account, "swimagainstgravity." Therefore, the url for my flickr photos is http://www.flickr.com/photos/swimagainstgravity/
How simple! Woohoo!
I've uploaded 6 photos that I took in Maui that quite frankly blow me away. It seems a little weird saying that because I took them myself, but I'd kind of forgotten about those pics until now and some of them took me quite by surprise. I went back through my entire folder of Maui 2006 pictures and selected 26 pictures that I would love to share and put them into a "for flickr" folder. Unfortunately, I'm using a free account for the time being until I get around to upgrading and this means that after I uploaded the first batch of 6 pictures I was a bit discouraged to find I had already used 38% of my monthly bandwidth. If only I'd uploaded a little sooner I could still be at 0% tonight, but alas, September has snuck up upon me. Why only 3 hours ago I checked the date and it was still August! I've got to stop staying up so late...

I'd say to heck with it and upload as many pics as I can but I felt some drawing inspiration strike tonight, and I'd like to have some space available to upload in progress pics. If only I'd spent some of my time tonight actually drawing instead of finishing the archives of Machall and Applegeeks comics. I've never even contemplated macs until this time, so their brainwashing must be working. Further, I now want Adobe Photoshop more than ever before, as well as a decent drawing tablet, and better drawing skills.

You can find Machall at www.machall.com. It's a fairly humorous and interesting webcomic which uses 1-off gag strips every now and then while maintaining a fairly coherent storyline. The quality of the writing and the art combined distracts the reader from how the story doesn't really go anwhere unusual, but rather draws more from everyday life. This is by no means a bad thing.

Applegeeks on the other hand (www.applegeeks.com) is quite a different story. Both comics share much in common, such as use of photoshop painting techniques (or so I believe, I may be incorrect) and some characters even seem a bit similar, in looks at least. However, the style of Applegeeks is a great deal flashier looking than Machall, and at times looks like a graphic novel. I find this style very visually appealing. As I read through Applegeeks' archives tonight I noticed how the storytelling evolved as the strip continued. Early on in the archives I found mostly realistic continual storyline of basically some college kids, which was fairly similar to Machall's stories. However, this contiguous (I'm sorry, I just had to throw that word in. Don't hate me for it. Please.) storyline is also interspersed with comics and filler where Hawk, or more likely Applegeeks' write Ananth took his characters out of their comfortable lives and allowed them to live vicariously (or that word) in rather different worlds than the usual comic. For example see comic #33
(http://www.applegeeks.com/comic_archive/viewcomic.php?issue=33) This short and tantalizing story is pretty much completely removed from the main story of applegeeks. I see it as a harbinger of the coming Mother of All Story Arcs.

Well, upon first encountering Applegeeks about half a year back I didn't think too much of it. Sure, the graphics, err I mean art, was quite nice, but I didn't figure it would have much storyline, just another gaming comic (minus the games!), so why bother. I couldn't have been more wrong. Upon reading the archives tonight I soon found that indeed, there was a storyline, and characterization, and both were pretty compelling. And that was before the beginning of the Mother Of All Story Arcs which began here, in my opinion, at the conception of Eve, a mac robot.
http://www.applegeeks.com/comic_archive/viewcomic.php?issue=138
The fallout from this arc would stretch and resonant until finally ending explosively at the final? strip #300. Superb writing, superb art. Also, I've never seen webcomic characters get taken farther from there original apparent identity in a single story arc, with the exception of Fred Gallagher's Circuity series (http://www.megatokyo.com/index.php?strip_id=732)and Grand Theft Colo series, but those don't really count for this, they're just very interesting/fun.

Hmm, since I didn't state it yet here at ol' blogspot, might as well do it while I just mentioned Fred. Read his comic, if you like comic/manga's at all. Even if you don't, it might be a good webcomic to start with. It's got a bit of everything, and it just plain rocks!
Just start here: http://www.megatokyo.com/index.php?strip_id=1

Wow, quite a bit more blogalicious than I had planned. Oh well, such happens when one enjoys writing.
Hmm, since I cited 3 of the rather more famous webcomics in 1 post it's very possible I may get more visitors to my blog than my usual army of one. Then again, maybe not.
Just in case, let me add a disclamir: I'm finishing writing this now, at 2:32 in the AM hours. Most errors I have commited and/or false assumptions can be chalked up to this fact. I hope I haven't offended anyone with my quasi-reviews of the above webcomics, it just sort of happened spontaneously, and for the benefit of the above mentioned army...err..reader of one. Most grammar and spelling errors can be attributed to the time of night, however, I must take the blame for any bad metaphores used, as well as my continual frustration at not being able to tell if I'm spelling the word "metaphor" correctly.

Thank you, and have a goodnight.
Err, morning.
Whatever.

Monday, August 28, 2006

"Sleeptalking"

Fall into the space
Where all the illusions
Are just part of the game
Where nothing has to make sense.
And there are no guarantees.
Only the knowledge that this is a dream can sustain.

Your deepset fears are all game, and your mind's a set stage.
The only player is you, and you play, trapped in worlds of your own creation.

"It's just a dream" almost doesn't cut it sometimes, when the evil is nearly upon you and you trip off into empty space
and fill it with lies.

Then you awake, relieved to know it really was a dream, just complex illusions from a complex creation.

But then....
You start to wonder...
Was that all safely contained in your head?

Why do I hurt from the fall?
Why does my arm ache deep inside where that creature attacked it, back in dreamhorrorland.

Where is the line between dream and reality?
Where were you really?

When you dream you sometimes realize you're dreaming...
When you're awake, do you sometimes realize you're dreaming?

Are you asleep?

Why math is not my forte, while other things bring joy.

I'm kind of
like
A laser beam of focus
that shoots in all directions
at once

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Debate

"Debate"

I know I've drawn blood.
And I'm not quitting until
I slay this beast.

Maybe the creature
Could be cooperative.
Easy way.

Or it's time to
Sharpen my swords
Easier way.

I’ll sink my claws in
Tear into the
Heart of the matter.